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Friday 11 March 2016

Developing pace and mood in a narrative



In LS2 we are unpacking and exploring the structure and language features of a narrative. The purpose of this task was to show the pace and mood of a story going forward.

The boys sat together thinking about the poor man. They were sorry that things had happened the way they had, and they still felt a little bit guilty - they hadn't meant for anything bad to happen. Jack sighed. He had learnt the hard way that it wasn't always a good idea to go with the crowd and he wouldn't be making the same mistake again.


...Three weeks earlier, Jack had been walking to the shop with a group of his friends. As they passed the old railway bridge, they had spotted what looked like a bundle of clothes next to a rusty, old bin. Jack stared at the rags intently, until, to his surprise he saw a pair of eyes blinking back at him. He hurried on, to catch up to his friends.


Continued part:


When Jack got home that day, he couldn't help but think of those eyes staring back at him. He barely touched his dinner, thinking about that poor man all by himself and wondering whether he would eat tonight, or even tomorrow. When he had done his homework, he lay in bed, tossing and turning, unable to sleep.


By Thomas


On the street, day time. Legs run along the pavement. They are Mark Renton's. Just ahead of him is Spud. They both belting along. As they travel, various objects, (pens, tapes, CD's, toiletries, ties, sunglasses and so on) either fall or a discarded from inside their jackets. They are pursued by two hard looking store detectives in identical uniforms. The men are fast, but Renton and Spud maintain their lead. Suddenly as Renton crosses the road, a car skids to a halt inches from him. In a moment of detachment Renton stops and looks at the shocked driver, then at Spud, who has continued running, then at the two men who are closing in. He smiles.
                                          
Continuation:
Spud kept on sprinting. Mark then drops his wallet, Spud stops.
"Mark move on!"
Mark runs back. Spud then goes. He sprints, hurdling the chairs and shoving pedestrians.
"Spud wait up." Mark cried. The police were behind them but Spud doesn't have a care in the world. "Spud when we get away from here were splitting the money!" he yelled back as he turned the corner. The officers split up.
"Ya better be good at free running!" yelled Spud. He jumped up the wall and stopped! A siren went off. Mark knew there were more officers.
"Spud don't go that way!" Mark screamed. Spud didn't listen. Rocks went flying from all the little street thugs. The police stopped them. Spud tripped on a rock and they stopped him.
"No..." cried Mark.
"You Have The Right To Remain Silent!"


By Latham


The boys sat together thinking about the poor man. They were sorry that things had happened the way they had, and they still felt a little bit guilty - they hadn't meant for anything bad to happen. Jack signed. He had learnt that it wasn't always a good idea to go with the crowd and he wouldn't be making the same mistake again.


...Three weeks earlier, Jack had been walking to the shop with a group of his friends. As they passed the old railway bridge, they spotted what looked like a bundle of clothes next to a rusty old dustbin. Jack stared at the rags intently, until, to his surprise he saw a pair of eyes blinking back at him. He hurried on, to catch up with his friends.


Continuation:


"Hurry up Jack!" One of Jack's friend screamed. Jack didn't care, he had been staring at the old rusty dustbin.His friends stopped."What do we have here?" They wondered. Joe(Jack's only real friend) motioned his hand to the back of his dark tracks pants."Joe, don't do it!" Jack shouted as he sprinted towards Joe. "Smash!" The poor old man's blood drowns the bright yellow t-shirt."Oh no, what did you?" Jack yelled. Jack stared at the pool of blood. He was in shock as his friends belted off. Joe & Jack froze. "What do we do?" Joe question urgently.
"I don't know!" Jack screamed with adrenaline rushing through his veins.


By Pote

The boys sat together thinking about the poor man. They were sorry that things had happened the way they had, and they still felt a little bit guilty - they hadn't meant for anything bad to happen. Jack signed. He had learnt that it wasn't always a good idea to go with the crowd and he wouldn't be making the same mistake again.


...Three weeks earlier, Jack had been walking to the shop with a group of his friends. As they passed the old railway bridge, they spotted what looked like a bundle of clothes next to a rusty old dustbin. Jack stared at the rags intently, until, to his surprise he saw a pair of eyes blinking back at him. He hurried on, to catch up with his friends.


Continued:


"What took you so long?" Mike asked.
"I thought I saw someone..." Jake replied.
"Let's go and check it out then", this time it was James that spoke. They wondered over to the dustbin. They peered into the darkness. Now all of them could see the poor old man. He was covered in old rags that now looked nothing like cloths.


By Daniel


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